Yesterday morning as I was driving my brown truck I was praying and a word came to me from God. I was thinking about how far I've come in the last year, regarding my worship leading.
A year ago, I wasn't leading anywhere for anyone. And I had no plans to do anything with it. I was busy. We had just brought Tasha home to live with us. Being new parents, life was crazy. In only a couple months (we didn't know it) we would be changing churches. I was frustrated in my ministry and I had thoughts that I would never do worship leading again. A friend and brother of mine thought otherwise (I suspect that he was busy praying that I would change my mind).
Shortly after Christmas, I realized that I needed to be back in fellowship with my band of brothers. I had taken a hiatus from the bible study. Spiritually - I was drained and could feel the devastation in myself from lack of fellowship. As I began to go back, I made a commitment to myself to lead worship for the guys every week.
Something had happened in the months between April and December of last year. This "break" from leading worship had affected me. God showed me that his gifts really matter. When he made me, Nev, when he knit me in my mother's womb (Psalm 139), before time began, he gifted me with specific, unique gifts and talents. And so this question came to me:
Who am I that I should decide when it is no longer good for me to lead worship? When did God give me the choice to forsake the gifts and talents he bestowed upon me?
God blessed me with the gift of music, song. He blessed me with the desire to lead others in worship. God called me to himself, so that I would walk in the light, walk in the truth, ...be in obedience to his plan for my life.
So, as I prayed yesterday, I realized that I am a worship leader. I lead others in worship. I am called to lead others in worship. I must obey that call to lead others in worship. But there is one thing that is more important, I am a Christian. I am called by God to lead others to Christ. I must stand in Christ. I must stand for truth. I am called to stand for Truth.
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3 comments:
Nev,
This post brings so much joy to my heart! The Lord has made it clear to you who you are in Christ -- His beloved child, forgiven, cleansed, restored into a love relationship with God through Jesus Christ. You are experiencing abundant life as you walk in the light with Him!
As you continue to be transformed by the reality of your identity in Christ, you are also becoming a more effective ambassador of Christ Jesus. I love to see you using your gifts faithfully as you walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. Yes, I love to hear you sing and play the guitar, and I love to worship with you! But even more than that, I love to see you becoming all that God has ordained for you to be!
Your passion for Jesus and the Bible are an ongoing encouragement to me. It is a joy to not only worship and serve with you, but to also dig deep into the riches of God's Word together. The Spirit of God, using the Word of God, is changing us daily to become more like Him. Thank you for sharing your life with me Nev!
Keep on loving the Lord our God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength dear brother!
Love,
Dave
True true true!! We seem to forget that being a worship leader is a calling of God. I am so glad he has given you this affirmation! As one who has followed you in worship, and one who also is blessed to be a called worship leader (if in a slightly different way), I say, "Lead on, my friend!"
I think when you were asked to step down from worship that totally squelched you in so many ways. What they meant to be healing was more damaging. Yeah, I was pretty angry about that back then. What better place then the church to understand sin? Now I am sad as to the effect it had on your life, but thankful now as God is healing that and bringing you forth to minister again. I know having Tasha has changed some of your goals, and that’s OK and necessary, but it seems your heart was so wounded.
---a good friend (posted by Nev from an email)
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